Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize