i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
