My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Randomize
