it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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