i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
