Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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