Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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