And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
