you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
only if we run a train.
done.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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