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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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