I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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