the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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