Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
