Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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