i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
