How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
