But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
