I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i think im in europe. pls send help
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
