it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
