Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
