so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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