Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
