if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
