you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
