he shaved USA in his pubs
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize