i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize