Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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