Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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