Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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