It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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