I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
