I wish I could punch you in the face.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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