what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
