Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
