But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
