I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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