Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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