eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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