Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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