You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
