I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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