White coat. Heels.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
