So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
