she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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