So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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