he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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