Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
