I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
