He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
