One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
