I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
