I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
