You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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