I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
