Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
