Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Randomize
