Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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