reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize