Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Still dying that you shit outside
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
