He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
