WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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