she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
