i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
