I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
