i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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