I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
honey bunches of taint.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
MIDGETS
????
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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