Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
