A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Everclear isn't food dammit
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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