It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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