Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Randomize
