Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
